The Taint Offensive

30 12 2009

Obviously, there’s been a lot of concern over the fact that a Nigerian flying from the Netherlands to the United States was able to board an airplane wearing and explosive device hidden in his underwear.
In the wake of this incident, there is a growing concern about a possible plan to implement full-body scanning at airports in response to this terrorist attempt.
Even though the Obama administration won’t admit this was a terrorist attack, let’s face it, it was. Whether we call it a “man-made disaster” or any other PC label, it’s still a terrorist attack, whether it’s attempted or pulled off.
So why the furor over the idea of implementing full-body scans at airports?
I’ll admit, the image of my naked body over a computer scan will probably cause children to cower behind their parents in absolute fear, will cause most men to feel better about themselves and cause most women to vomit on the floor and question their very reason for living.
But still, as someone who as flown on airplanes and probably will fly again in the future, I’d like to know that every precaution is being taken to make sure we get from Point A to Point B (or C or D or E, depending on how many connecting flights you have) as safely as possible. After all, you’re already asking a lot by expecting me to cram into a tube and trust that you’ll get me to my destination in one piece.
If that means checking everything out to make sure that happens, feel free to have a gander at the twig and berries. I can assure you, the only bomb you’ll find in that region is the one that’s brewing after I’ve mowed down on a fried onion and drank three cups of coffee.
Hey, it’s almost 2010. There are idiots out there who are attempting and will attempt any and all means to kill a large amount of people at one time.
If that means making sure every person that boards a plane can’t pull something like that off, then by all means, search me.

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